


You're not on the moon anymore, babe

by hearttier



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Breaking and Entering, Dogs, Gen, four lokos, stoner nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 17:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11696322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearttier/pseuds/hearttier
Summary: "Dogs are so fucking good," she murmurs in the most soothing voice she can manage. "I love dogs."Magnus laughs a little. "Fucking. Same. I just wanna adopt every dog."





	You're not on the moon anymore, babe

Lup had missed Magnus so much. Taako was her brother, the one person she would do anything for, but the rest of the Starblaster's crew were the rest of her family. Magnus had a point though - as many years as they knew each other and as much time as they had spent together, it was rarely one-on-one. So, the first chance she got, she dropped in on him with a dimebag and a case of Four Lokos.

Three hours later, Magnus is drunk and crying about dogs.

It's kind of hilarious to think of it like that, but seeing him in this state hurts. A fucking lot. Lup almost starts crying too as she wraps her arms around her friend's shoulders and lets him weep all over her. He always had such a soft heart, and this is not the first time she's seen him cry like this - but it is the first time in a long time. Her instinct has not changed though. She's high as all fuck, but she's got a mission now: Fix Magnus.

"Dogs are so fucking good," she murmurs in the most soothing voice she can manage. "I love dogs."

Magnus laughs a little. "Fucking. Same. I just wanna adopt every dog."

Lup lifts her head and examines the room around her. Magnus' new home is pretty cozy, already half furnished with tables and chairs he's made himself. It's a large space for just one person - honestly she could see him renovating the entire place to make room for everyone to live with him. Or maybe just a bunch of dogs. "Right now I think you can only fit, like, sixteen dogs in here," she says more to herself than anyone.

"No dogs on the moon," he whines. He sounds so dejected that it would break her heart if he wasn't spouting some dumb drunk nonsense.

Trying to suppress a teasing smile, she says, "You're not on the moon anymore, babe."

Magnus lifts his head with a gasp. His mood is instantly changed with this revelation - his mouth hangs open, and he stares at Lup with a hopefulness she doesn't dare crush. "You really think I can have sixteen dogs?"

Lup grins back at him. "We're going to the shelter, right fucking now."

 

* * *

 

The issue with trying to accomplish things when you're high as all fuck is you forget important details. Like the fact that it's ten o'clock at night and the animal shelter is, in fact, closed.

"Lup, I want sixteen dogs," Magnus whines helplessly - but by the time he's finished speaking, Lup has already cast Knock on the door. He gasps and looks over at her. "Lup, we can't steal the dogs!"

"We're not stealing," she says, before she realizes she literally did just break into the shelter. Well, shit, too late now? "I mean, you brought gold, you can just leave however much for the shit, or whatever."

Magnus seems to get the point that she had lost track of, and rushes in. Because yeah. Lup follows at a more mellow pace, smiling as she watches her friend run to the dog kennels. He's slightly more sober now, at least enough that he doesn't trip over his own feet or struggle to open the doors.

She has the presence of mind to actually count the dogs, but she either gives up or stops caring around twenty-eight. There's just... a fucking lot of very good dogs.

Some of them approach the doors and stare at her, tails wagging and tongues hanging out of their mouths. Some hang back shyly. A few bark and growl at her. Strangely, Magnus seems more determined to befriend the more hostile dogs. Lup tilts her head curiously as she watches him speak gently to one of these dogs, kneeling in front of her and holding out his hand to her but not approaching her. Sensing her fascination and slight confusion, he tells her, "I can only have sixteen dogs, right? I wanna make sure I get the ones that really need homes. Like, dogs are only hostile when they've had bad experiences, but people don't want hostile dogs and they stay in the shelters and have more bad experiences and..."

As Magnus chokes up, Lup smiles softly at him. He really does have the biggest heart of anyone she knows.

 

* * *

 

It takes a while, but Lup does find the paperwork for the dogs Magnus chose. As she does this, Magnus writes a note and asks her to proofread it:

_Lup said I could have 16 dogs but you guys weren't here when we came but this is important and I love these dogs so much. I promise I will take good care of them thank you I love you I will bring them back to visit if you want because they are all such good dogs_

It looks okay to her, so with that they leave behind some gold and head home with their sixteen new friends.

**Author's Note:**

> I have two new very important headcanons after episode 68. One is that Lup calls all her friends babe. The second is she's a huge fucking stoner. I love her.
> 
> I turned this out in like an hour because I needed to get it out of my system, but hopefully it's the beginning of me Actually Writing Again??


End file.
